Chronicles of the Monkey God
Me and The Monkey: Chronicals of the Monkey God Vol 1
Well, there's this talking monkey who won me in a game of Othello in a coffee shop in Amsterdam. He came back to Cornwall with me and has become a prolific reader and dabbler in magic. He also has past life flashbacks - the most prominent of which are the Nam special forces ones. We have partially deceased girlfriends who apparently eat dead bodies. The Monkey created a sort of black hole in the spare bedroom, and now we have a team of nerds investigating it and trying to stop 'things' coming out of it. A bunch of Oriental hit men who appear to believe he is a god attempted to steal The Monkey's magic lolly pop sticks, but he managed to blow them up in their caravan. We are off to Cambodia in search of a temple from which came a monkey faced pendant with glowing eyes, and we seem to have upset an international cabal who are out to get us. Oh, and did I mention that The Monkey likes a cigar, and we regularly get very drunk on Jack Daniel's... Interested? Perplexed? Worried? Come on in and join the fun. Written in the form of blog entries, this is our story so far...
Me and The Monkey: Chronicals of the Monkey God Vol 2
“Well, they couldn’t leave us alone, could they? Now we have to go off to Tibet, via South Africa – don’t ask – and apparently, once again the fate of the many worlds rests upon our drunken shoulders. So, strap in and prepare for a tale of cigars, booze, laughter, tears, and secret organisations bent upon shafting us, and getting in the way of our partying. The mission has been delivered, and may the gods help us, we have no option but to accept. The hills are alive!!!” The everyday story of a man and the incarnate Monkey God, drinker of Jack Daniel’s, smoker of cigars, dabbler in magic, bringer of entropy and lover of chaos. Conspiracy, magic, booze, guns, sexy partially dead girls, the Illuminati, bad TV, alternative history... What more could you want?
The Paddington Incident
Coming back to life was always like looking at the world through a bruise. Although it wasn’t really coming back to life, it just felt like it. Eyes gradually focused on the shapes around him, and then William Chapman was back in the room and focusing on the form in front of him. Lounging on the cot opposite, two semi-naked girls draped around him, sat The Monkey. A cigar clamped in his mouth added a darker, more acrid smoke to the sweet, cloying stink of the burning opium. His amber eyes shone with an evil mischief that never seemed to leave him. The Monkey is back...